Object Lesson: Teaching Children Why Jesus' Sacrifice Was Necessary

Our family loves to use object lessons as a way to teach spiritual truths.  The benefits of activity-based object lessons are described here.

Today's post is a peek into a lesson our family did to learn more about the necessity of Jesus' sacrifice.  It is based on "Mr. Clean" and "A-Cross the Bridge" from Heritage Builders' book An Introduction To Family Nights: Family Nights Tool Chest (a favorite resource!).

We gathered outside and read Exodus 3:1-6 (Moses taking off his shoes to walk on holy ground).  We each took off our shoes and discussed about the meaning of holiness (set apart from anything unclean).  Then I used masking tape to mark a short path on our driveway and filled in the pathway with powder.  The book recommended cornstarch or baby powder, but we used baking soda since the Bible sometimes uses leaven to represent sin.  At the end of the powdered path, I taped a clean sheet of black construction paper. 

In their bare feet, my children tried to traverse the walkway and then place their feet on the construction paper without getting any powder on it.  (I was ready to sweep away powder residue with a hand-held broom so they could try again and again.)  The powder represented life on earth which always includes sin (Romans 3:23).  The black square at the end represented holy ground, being in the presence of God.  It shouldn't have even the tiniest speck of leaven on it.

As my children tried various strategies for going through the powdered path without tracking powder onto the black paper.  They leaped . . . they ran as fast as they possibly could . . . they jumped . . . they tiptoed.  Finally, they determined that there was no way to walk through the powder without tracking it onto the black paper at the end of the path.

After lots of giggles and many failed attempts, we talked about what we learned:

• Is there any way we can get to the holy ground without making it dirty with sin? 

• Jesus died on the cross to take the punishment for our sins.  He didn't deserve our punishment, but we are so thankful He took it.

Next, I took out two strips I had cut from a cheap plastic tablecloth and tucked out of sight behind a bush.  One strip went vertically down the path and had the word "JESUS" written in large letters.  The other plastic strip went across it to make the shape of a cross.  We tried again to walk the sin-covered pathway and reach God without tracking our sins.  Of course, it was easy to make it to the end since the powder had been covered by the cross.  We were able to reach holy ground without tracking any powder.

We talked again:

• How is the cross like a bridge?  How is Jesus' death like a bridge for us to reach God?  Can we become holy by ourselves? 

• Even though we made this plastic cross and can use it to get to the clean area, we can never really make a way to get to God.  We read John 14:6 which states that Jesus is the only way to God.  No matter how hard we try, we will always have a little sin in our lives.  That's why Jesus needed to die to rescue us.

We ended with a prayer of thanks for Christ's sacrifice.  We asked God to make us holy and help us to not sin. Start-to-finish, the lesson took less than 20 minutes, but my children gained a deeper understanding of why Jesus' death was necessary.   This object lesson might become annual tradition for us each spring, the season of redemption.

Photo:  Christianphotos.net

Where Does Family Ministry Fit In The Big Picture?

Photo:  Microsoft Images

 Let's explore some big questions about Family Ministry.

• What is the role of Family Ministry? 
• Where does it fit into the overall theme of the Bible?  
• What does Family Ministry have to do with God's plan for the world?  
• How does Family Ministry relate to the Great Commission of the church?
• How can the church be more effective in missions, small group ministry, and children's ministry?
• Is Family Ministry anything more than just the newest trend in the Christian community?
• Does Family Ministry apply to singles or people who are not parents?

These questions and many more are answered in Dr. Rob Rienow's FREE audio presentation The Essential Role of the Family for World Evangelism.

The Essential Role of the Family for World Evangelism

Click on the link above to listen today.  Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Photo:  Microsoft Images

God's Love for My Children

This is the final post in a 5-part series about perfectionism.  Previous entries can be found here:

                        How Do I Measure Up As A Christian Mother?
                        The Slippery Slope of Perfectionism
                        The Source of My Perfectionism
                        The Remedy for My Perfectionism

Photo:  Microsoft Images

This series has been about my own personal struggle with the discouragement.  II Corinthians 10:12 tell us, these comparisons amongst ourselves are unwise.  Even with this knowledge, I slip into the habit of de-valuing my parenting efforts when I compare myself with others or with my own fantasy of the ideal Christian mother.  I have come face-to-face with the reality that this hinders God's plan for my family--the exact opposite of my good intentions.


As I consider the effects of my own perfectionism, I realize the importance of trusting God to my parenting.  The underlying question I have to ask myself is this:  Do I underestimate God's love for my children?  I call them "my" children.  But truly they are His children whom He has so graciously entrusted into my care.  In turn, I need to trust and rely on Him.  He knows what He is doing--even when I can't see the end result or the steps to get there.
 

 I've collected some scriptures describing God's boundless love for my children:

Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.  
          - Psalm 103:13

Photo:  Christianphotos.net

 For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;

Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them. 
          - Psalm 139:13-16

Can a woman forget her nursing child
And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
          - Isaiah 49:15

If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?
          - Luke 11:13

My eyes should be riveted on my Savior (Heb. 12:2).  Keeping my attention focused on Him involves turning my sights away from myself and my shortcomings.  Years ago, I heard a talk by Linda Anderson, Founder of Mom to Mom ministries, speak to a group of mothers.  What she said has stuck with me for years: "We're not called to be Jesus to our children.  We're called to point them to Jesus."  Let's cast off the burden of perfectionism.  Let's replace it with:

Photo:  Microsoft Images

 Trust in His plan

Trust in His methods

Trust in His ability to overcome

Trust in His love for us (imperfect though we are) & our children.

Let's trust in the promise contained in Proverbs 3:5-6 and be encouraged by it:

  

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not rely on your own insight.
 In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.

Photo:  Christianphotos.net

The Remedy For My Perfectionism

This post is a continuation of a series.  Here are links to the previous posts:
                        How Do I Measure Up As A Christian Mother?
                        The Slippery Slope of Perfectionism
                        The Source of My Perfectionism

So what is the answer?  How can I remedy this negative pattern of perfectionism and discouragement?  How can I stand up under this assault and not be overcome?

The answer is printed plainly in God's Word.   Ephesians 6:16 says to "take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one."  At the core of my perfectionism is a lack of faith in God.  Satan sees this weakness and exploits it, attacking my efforts to disciple my children. 

Photo:  Microsoft Images

With greater faith, I can overcome perfectionism and discouragement.  To strengthen my shield of faith, I started reading scriptures about trusting God.  What I found time and again is that faith in God is linked to rejoicing (the very opposite of the despair I feel from the burden of perfectionism).  Let me share some of my favorite examples:

   But let all who take refuge in You be glad,

Photo: Microsoft Images

   Let them ever sing for joy;
   And may You shelter them,
   That those who love Your name may exult in You. 
          -Psalm 5:11

  But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;
  My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. 
          -Psalm 13:5

  The Lord is my strength and my shield;
     my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
  My heart leaps for joy,
     and with my song I praise him. 
          -Psalm 28:7

  For You have been my help,
  And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. 
          -Psalm 63:7

   The righteous man will be glad in the Lord and will take refuge in Him;
   And all the upright in heart will glory. 
         -Psalm 64:10

In his book Transforming Children Into Spiritual Champions, George Barna states, "In the end, one of  the greatest lessons you can learn is that raising spiritual champions is beyond your capabilities--but not beyond your personal responsibility."  God doesn't expect perfection from us.  Instead, He requires that we avoid the trap of discouragement and passivity.  It is our duty to guide our children's development of faith. If we follow Him, He fills in where we lack.  The process of spiritual training takes steadfast effort.  May God bless every minute we spend and every ounce of energy that we devote to leading our children closer to Him.

To conclude this series, my next post will dig deeper into the Bible to explore The Depth Of God's Love For My Children. 

Photo:  Christianphotos.net

The Source of My Perfectionism

This post is a continuation of a series about perfectionism.  

To catch up on the prior discussion, please read:

 How Do I Measure Up As A Christian Mother 

 and

 The Slippery Slope of Perfectionism

Photo:  happykatie

So where does this perfectionism come from?  What is the source?   The more accurate question is Who is the source? 

Throughout this series, these words "perfectionism" and "discouragement" come up again and again.  They sound rather benign.  They are not.  The Bible compares our Christian walk to the life of a soldier (2 Timothy 2:3-4.)  We are in the midst of a spiritual war (Ephesians 6).   Let's acknowledge perfectionism for what it is--a tool of Satan designed to discourage.  The resultant feeling of despair is the exact opposite of the joy that is in God's presence (1 Chronicles 16:27, Galatians 5:22-23). 

The weapon of discouragement has the potential to stop us from moving in the direction we should be--closer to God and more reliant on Him.  Perfectionism and discouragement are potent forces that have the power to be destructive to my family.  When I allow it, feelings of despair bring God's plan for my children to a standstill.  Satan hates family.  He will use every possible angle to attack Christian families.

Photo:  Microsoft Images

At times, I feel unqualified to fight in this spiritual war.  But God will not desert me and send me into a losing battle without defenses.  The Bible provides us with specific instructions from the greatest General, the greatest Military Strategist.  He has a battle plan.  He knows the enemy and knows and His forces.  (After all, He created all of us.)  He knows how we can win.  He has told us the best way to fight.  We cannot expect to prevail for our children's spiritual futures if we are following our own flawed reasoning.

Our first efforts at discipling our children will not be perfect.  Becoming equipped for battle is not a one-time event.  Our preparation involves more than making a decision.  A soldier's training is a process that requires quality resources, training, mentoring, and communication with the Leader.   It is essential that we maintain consistent effort and perseverance--on a day-to-day basis--if we are to be equipped to fight.

God has inspired a beautiful verse for myself and fellow perfectionists:  " . . . whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things" (Philippians 4:8).  These are not the thoughts that tend to occupy the mind of a perfectionist.  God, in His graciousness, tells us that we are not to dwell on our shortcomings.

Yet it takes more than positive thinking to win the battle against perfectionism and discouragement.  I'll share more about how to win this battle in my next post The Remedy for My Perfectionism.

Photo:  Christianphotos.net

The Slippery Slope of Perfectionism

This post is a continuation of How Do I Measure Up As A Christian Mother?
 

Photo:  mikep

Sometimes in the "quest to get it right, we can feel defeated."  When I first read these words by Reggie Joiner (author of Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide...), they struck a familiar chord with me.  I feel that defeat more often than I should.  My own over-enthusiasm works against me and brings me to a place of failure.  My heart's desire to disciple my children crosses the line into perfectionism.  That perfectionism becomes a  stumbling block.

My inappropriate comparisons (which I shared in my last post) are the beginning step in a chain reaction that is counter-productive:

PERFECTIONISM

                    leads to DISCOURAGEMENT

                                        leads to INACTIVITY

                                                            leads to NEGLECTING MY SCRIPTURAL DUTY 
                                                                               TO GOD AND MY CHILDREN

What begins as innocent observations about other Christian families leads to my own crushed spirit and dried up zeal (Proverbs 17:22).

Photo:  Microsoft Images

When I view myself through the lens of perfectionism, it skews the truth of our family.  What is the truth?

The truth is . . .

God has chosen me--imperfect as I am--to implement His plan in my children's lives.  It doesn't matter that I am imperfect.  My children don't need a perfect mother.  They need perfect grace.  And God gives it to them freely.  It is not something I can provide for them, even if I could be the ideal Christian mother. 

Photo:  Microsoft Images

The truth is . . .
Spiritual transformation is not dependent on perfect parenting.  It requires the involvement of a living Almighty God. Discouragement and defeat result in a lack of positive action.  And when I choose the path of passivity, I cease being a tool that God can use in converting the hearts of my children.

The truth is . . .
To be the mother God wants me to be, I don't need to be perfect.  I simply need to love God and follow Him.  Even better than I do, God knows my weaknesses.  Yet He has given me this task.  He has confidence that discipleship can be accomplished.

Please join me for the next part of this series where I explore The Source of My Perfectionism.  

How Do I Measure Up As A Christian Mother?

This post will be the first of a series about one of the greatest barriers that I personally face in my endeavor to train my children in the Lord.  This is the beginning of a conversation, and I invite you to join in the discussion by commenting below or sending me an email. 

We have a high calling--one that is not for the faint of heart.  We are called to disciple our children, to teach them daily about God and His ways.  Scripture is very clear that the responsibility for our children's spiritual training rests squarely on our shoulders.  This is not an undertaking that can be delegated.  Yet many of us (myself included) feel inadequate to the task.

Today I want to share with you one of the largest roadblocks I face in discipling my children: 

PERFECTIONISM.  

Without intending to, I compare myself with other parents.  I envision a grandiose image of ideal Christian parenting and know I fall very short of that vision.

• How often do I look at behavior of other children and lament the shortcomings in my own?   
• How often do  I see a parent bringing God into everyday conversation with their child and feelings about my inadequacy surface?  
• How often do I observe a parent exercising patience under pressure and feel the sharp pang of knowing my own failings?  
• How often do I see a mother following through with her plan to systematically teach her children about God and begin to feel that my own efforts are inferior? 

Photo:  Microsoft Images

How often do I conjure up evidence that I just don't measure up as a Christian mother--all because I'm not perfect?  The honest answer is:  All too often.  The Bible sends parents a very strong message that we are responsible for our children's spiritual development (Gen. 18:19, Ex. 10:2,  Ex. 12:26-27, Ex. 13: 8 & 14, Deu. 4:9-10, Deu. 6:5-9, Deu. 11:19-21, Ps. 78:5-6, Is. 38:19, Joel 1:1-3, Eph. 6:4, Acts 2:38-39).  The interesting thing about these verses is that they in no way imply that  we need to be sinless in order to fulfill God's purpose in our families.  Being equipped for the task of Biblical parenting is not the same thing as being perfect.

Please join me in the next part of this journey where I describe the "Slippery Slope of Perfectionism" and how it affects my role as a Christian mother.

Spring -- The Season Of Spiritual Renewal For Our Family

Photo: Jason Paluck

Spring is a universal symbol of renewal. It's the season of physical rebirth and surrounds us with new life.  It is also a common time when Christians take a step back, consider the state of their spiritual lives, and experience spiritual restoration.  We have begun the habit of carefully examining our entire family's spiritual health during this season.

Every spring we reflect on the past year, including spiritual growth and challenges.  We also look forward to the coming year, consider our spiritual needs, and plan a strategy to achieve new goals.  Spring is a beautiful time to inventory my family's spiritual development.  We try to gain a godly perspective by looking at the big picture and then compare it with where we are on our spiritual journey as a family.  This practice of annual analysis helps me focus on what is important and be intentional in the spiritual leadership of our family.

Here are some of the categories I evaluate and specific questions I ask each spring:

Each Child As An Individual
What growth has occurred for each of my children this past year?  Am I actively preparing them to be servants of our Lord?  What positive character traits do I see in my children?  How can I use these strengths as building blocks for their faith and further character development?  What are their character weaknesses?  What potential stumbling blocks lie ahead for them?  How can I prepare them for those challenges?

Photo:  Code Poet

Family practices
What new strategies for family worship and spiritual instruction have we tried?  What worked well?  What didn't work well?  Is there another way to try to achieve the same goal?  Was there a strategy that was working for us but was abandoned along the way?  Do we need to implement it again?  Am I providing my children with a solid foundation of Biblical understanding?

Do we participate in regular family worship of God in our home?  Are we praying together?  Are we going through the motions--treating family worship as something on our "to do" list--and missing the heart of worship?

Relationship with God
Is each family member growing in their relationship with God?  Are we neglecting praise?  Are we communicating with God through prayer?  Are we listening for his Spirit to speak to us?  Am I nurturing our children's heart connections with God?  Am I focusing on behavior and knowledge to the exclusion of impressing a love of God on the hearts of my children?  Or am I giving that mandate the daily attention it requires?

My Role As A Parent

How healthy is my personal spiritual life?  What am I modeling for my children?  Trying to look like the perfect Christian?  Or sharing the Christian journey of struggling with personal weaknesses, relying God in the face of real problems, and making spiritual growth a life priority?  Am I seeking God and allowing Him to lead my family?  Or am I seeking to take control by myself?

Photo:  Pink Sherbet Photography

Have I allowed Satan to discourage or distract me from my primary mission as a parent?  Am I making time for academics, athletics, and extracurricular activities while treating my children's spiritual development as an "extra" activity that is easily neglected?

After this evaluation, I decide what baby steps can I take when a change in direction is needed.  What small change can I make to align our current focus and routine with God's plan for our family?  I feel encouraged by Reggie Joiner's words in Think Orange: Imagine the Impact When Church and Family Collide...: "A little change in the rhythm of a family's time together can make a lasting impact on the heart of a child . . . . Most parents cannot do everything, but they can do something more.  That 'something' can make a huge difference in the life of the family and in the spiritual growth of a child." 

When I try new ways of leading my children spiritually, I often experience feelings of awkwardness.  The final questions I must ask myself are Am I willing to deal with my own feelings of discomfort to be an instrument of God?  Am I willing to lay aside my ego so God can accomplish His work in my family? 


When you are examining the status of your family's spiritual development, what other categories and questions are important for you?  

Photo:  PresentationPro

God's Model for Passing on the Faith to the Next Generation

A lot of media attention has been given to the failure of Christians to pass on their faith to the next generation. The statistics are alarming.  And yet the church has probably never made children a greater priority or had better programs for them.

Clearly, church programs are not the problem.  The flip side of this is that church programs are not the solution. 

This video by Kurt Bruner shows a beautiful analogy of God's model for faith development:



There is no greater influence on the development of a child's faith than the influence of their parents.  In fact, the research shows that parents are 2-3 times more influential than even the best of youth ministry programs.  It's time for us to get back to the basics--back to God's design for passing on the faith.

Why Family Is More Effective Than Children's Ministry

As a parent, I'm a little skeptical of these numbers.  For parents of school-age children, I'm pretty sure that some of those 3,000 hours are spent sleeping. :)  However, the basic principle is still solid.  Research confirms that parents are far more influential on their child's faith development than any church program.

But there's more than just numbers and time at work here.

I am a parent--and I am involved in children's ministry.  When I am working with a group of children at church, I don't know the personal fears of those children.  I don't know what sins they are struggling with.  I often don't know who has been fighting with their siblings that week or been disrespectful to their parents.  I may not know if they have been the subject of gossip or bullying at school.  Frankly, if I did know those things, it wouldn't be very wise to bring it up in a group of their peers.

But in the family, we already know these things about each another.  We can talk about them.  We can drive home the practical application of Biblical lessons to fit our children's personal lives.  We can make it real for them.  As a parent, I'm very aware of my child's character weaknesses and can foresee potential stumbling blocks.  As a parent, I can tailor our talks about God to specifically what my child needs to grow spiritually.  They can receive customized spiritual instruction and coaching in the home in addition to the lessons they are learning at church.

I love youth ministry.  There is no question that is extremely valuable and important.  My own involvement as a young person left a lasting and powerful impact on my future.  Nevertheless, we can't rely on church programs to pass the faith on to our children.  That's not the model of passing on the faith that God set forth in the Bible.

Here is a challenge for you!  If you can find a scripture that clearly states that the church has the primary responsibility for passing on the faith to the next generation, I would love for you to share it in the comments.  I've searched and haven't found it.  I have found numerous scriptures that lay this responsibility firmly at the feet of parents.  I'll share my favorite here:

   He commanded our ancestors
      to teach them to their children,
  so the next generation might know them—
      even the children not yet born—
      and they in turn will teach their own children.
  So each generation should set its hope anew on God,
      not forgetting his glorious miracles
      and obeying his commands.

Psalm 78:5-7

So the question becomes, what do our lives reflect?  Do our priorities reflect the belief that WE are God's primary tool for impressing the hearts of our children with a love for Him?  Do our actions reflect the belief that WE are responsible for planting seeds of faith in our children and nurturing those seeds as they blossom?

Breaking Down the Barriers to Family Discipleship

Here are some fast facts for you:

• 85% of Christian parents who regularly attend church believe the primary responsibility for teaching their children about the faith rests on their shoulders.  
• 10% of church-going families talk with their children about spiritual matters.  
• 5% of church-going families participate in any kind of family worship (separate from a corporate worship service).

 (Are you scratching your head at these numbers?  Doesn't add up?)  The discrepancy between these figures is staggering, and it speaks to the barriers that families face in doing spiritual training in the home.

Here are just a few of the many barriers that can prevent us from following the Biblical model of discipling our own children:

• Shifting of responsibility.  In our culture, it is very easy to shift the responsibility for the spiritual training of our children onto the church.  Yet God never intended for the church to be primarily responsible for passing the faith on to the next generation.
• Lack of know-how.  Most parents--even if they grew up in a Christian home--have not seen family discipleship modeled.  We know we need to be doing more for our children's spiritual development than just taking them to church.  But we simply don't know what more to do.  What does family discipleship look like in everyday life?
• Lack of support.  Parenting is not for the faint of heart.  When we are discouraged, we need someone to lift us up.  When we feel overwhelmed, we need emotional support.  And sometimes all we need to stay on track is someone else there telling us that we're doing the right thing. 
• Time constraints.  Need I say more?  This is a huge challenge for families today!

These are very real barriers.  I won't minimize them.  The good news is that every one of these barriers can be overcome.

This video is less than two minutes long, but it is a powerful motivator for making the spiritual training our children a priority.




Discipling our children on a day-to-day basis requires absolute dedication.  This blog is about breaking down some of the barriers to making our homes the place where our children's faith is nurtured.  It's about equipping you, encouraging you, and inspiring you in this great endeavor.  Feel free to comment or send me an email telling me what would be helpful to see on Turning Our Hearts.
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Someone with a Vested Interest in Your Child

There is someone who is deeply invested in your child’s spiritual development.  He has analyzed her personality for strengths and weaknesses.  He knows the intricacies of her relationships with family and friends and has studied every possible angle to win her over.   He has a masterful plan for influencing your child’s walk with God.

That someone is Satan the Devil. 

Right now a war is being waged for the hearts and minds of our young people (Ephesians 6).  

So ask yourself, How intentional am I regarding the spiritual development of my children?  Satan is VERY intentional.  We can’t afford not to be.

-Adapted from an article printed in Living to Win, April 2011, by Stacey Shoemaker.